How many times have you run to the work toilet or turned off your video during a meeting so that you could have a good cry?

• Too many to remember
• Too many to admit to
• More than once

This was happening to me on a 6-8 week cycle.

The stress and tension would built day-by-day. I’d bury it. Get on with my work. Meet my deadlines. And then around 6 to 8 weeks the tension would climax, generally triggered by someone or something and my internal rubber band would snap and the floodgates would open. I’d deal with the aftermath of that for a few days. And then the same cycle would start again. Over and over. Time and time again. 

I knew I couldn’t carry on with this cycle. I needed to break this pattern. I started looking for solutions.

I made the mistake of thinking that it wasn’t my fault. It had to be someone else’s fault. They had caused this to happen to me. Does that sound familiar?

But I was WRONG!

I realised that it was ALL ABOUT ME! No way. That meant it was my problem to solve. I had a CHOICE about whether I wanted it to carry on like this or if I wanted to do something about it. 

So here’s what I did.

• I took ownership of the problem.
• I started a daily mindfulness practice. 
• I learnt about different communication styles.
• I started looking at things from different perspectives. 
• I paused to reflect when my buttons were pressed.
• I gained the confidence to ask myself questions and think about what I could do differently. 
• I owned it when I could have behaved better.
• I developed the courage to start a conversation with the someone that triggered me.
• I owned my actions and reactions. 

And now, here I am. Starting a new venture where I help others through the same challenges. This is my purpose and how I can help other breakthrough their challenges. 

No-one should have to hide in a toilet or turn their camera off. 

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